(Some) Comedy Isn't Funny

I have beef with certain types of people that call themselves comedians. Now most people know comedy when they see it, if it makes you laugh it is comedy. But I think that some people confuse certain entertainers as being comedians. If what you are laughing at is not what is coming out of the "comedian's" mouth, then it just isn't comedy!

Here are some examples of what I mean:

1. Ventriloquists are not comedians. I have seen several ventriloquists both live and on television and I don't feel that is comedy. I have yet to see a ventriloquist dummy do a routine. Every ventriloquist I have seen gets their laughs due to their freakish talent, not the "jokes" that are being told. So Jeff Dunham can not move his mouth and still speak in different dialects. Until he tells a joke, I'm not laughing!

2. Impressionists are not comedians. Frank Caliendo may be the biggest go to guy right now (especially if you are a TBS junkie) but just because he sounds like other people doesn't make him a comedian. I am pretty safe in assuming that every show of his goes something like this:
Caliendo: (insert any of his dozens of annoying impressions)
Audience: Wow, that's funny he sounds just like that guy.
If Caliendo is so great at impressions, then why must he dress like his subjects to pass the hint along?

3. Memory-tappers are not comedians. I am talking about those guys that stand onstage, size up their target demographic in the audience, and remind them of obscure things from their childhood. Jimmy Fallon is one of these guys (as well as also being an example of #2). His stand up consists of him reminding those who grew up in the 80's about things they were exposed to in the 80's. "Remember ThunderCats? Wasn't that funny?"

So there you have it. If you find yourself confused as to what comedy is and isn't, I hope I cleared the air a bit. I think that pure comedy comes from funny stories and anecdotes that force the audience to think. Laughing at a bunch of dummies (real or wooden) is nothing more than mindless entertainment.